Week 8: Catch of the Week

If this isn't hell, I don't know what is.

On deck this week:

1. You can change if you want to and are willing to work for it.

2. There’s more coming out of Singapore than crazy rich Asians.

3. 2.5 tons of fake blood.

4. This is your life 📉 This is your life on Todoist 📈

All aboard.

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How to Change – Katy Milkman

I’m a bit of a self-help, behavioral science junkie. Like most people, it was that first free hit of Malcolm Gladwell that did it and it’s become a bit of a problem. But admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. So here we are.

I’ve started listening to more audiobooks to juke the stats on my number of books read each year. It’s a controversial subject but it gives me something I believe is more productive while I cut the grass, fold laundry, and commute. On apps like Overdrive and Libby, I’ve found an embarrassment of riches specifically in the genre of behavioral science.

There’s no shortage of social science research that has far-reaching implications for the betterment of our society and there’s a reason these books continue to hit shelves, both physically and digitally, faster than you can form an atomic habit. It’s because everybody gets a sense of satisfaction learning about social science research without having to actually apply what they’ve learned to their daily lives. We may have the greatest of intentions but no one is actually doing all of these things they’re reading about, right? Maybe I’m the only one who will admit it.

Ask me how many atomic habits I’ve formed because I understand the power of habit.

Can I tidy the kitchen counter and linen closet? Sure. But with every thrift store trip, the sneaker collection grows by another pair, and my loose grip on minimalistic living slips.

I’m still hurrying, still wasting time, and still parenting reactively.

But ask me, “How do you feel?”

Accomplished.

Liberated.

Optimistic.

For the reasons above, I've had to intentionally limit how many of these books I let myself read but I figured one more couldn’t hurt. And so, How to Change by Katy Milkman.

Early in our marriage, my wife and I got into a discussion about bad habits and pet peeves. Our conversation was prompted by an older couple who taught that the small, annoying things our partners did like leaving cabinet doors open, leaving piles of clothes on the floor, whistling, and rearranging stuff in the dishwasher after they loaded it, were worth overlooking for the sake of harmony and learning to love our spouse unconditionally, blah blah blah. This conversation, as it often does, derailed into a heated exchange about the heinous things the other person did that the other hated. We were fun back then.

As I’m wont to do, I derailed our argument further and posed an existential question that I believed was more important than actually apologizing for my mean words. I asked, “Do you think people can actually change? Or are we doomed to keep doing these annoying things for the rest of our lives?” The conversation didn’t last long after that, but I did stop whistling…eventually.

In her book, How to Change, Milkman posits, yes, you can change, but only if you’re willing to work at it. I found the book to be a good primer on identifying the actual problems we turn to self-help books for:

We do/don’t do things that are bad/good for us. How do we stop/start doing those things?

How to Change is a quick listen on 1.5x speed, and I’ve started/stopped doing a few things I want to change. Subscribe to hear about success/failure and to see if this book is worth picking up.

Forests – Get in Losers, We’re Going to Eternal Damnation

I’ve learned in writing this newsletter that asking my friends for recommendations has been one of the best avenues for finding great new things. I’ve also learned that people are much more willing to share if they believe you’re going to actually take their recommendations and do something about it. That’s pretty much the reason I started this newsletter. I got tired of seeing someone’s eyes glaze over when I shared about a psychedelic jam band traveling through the Thai countryside hauling a scratch-made sound system on a cart.

Let the people sign up if they want to hear about these strange new sights and sounds.

Forests is an emo/math rock trio from Singapore that has turned out three albums that are each better than the last. The lyrics are sometimes sad, filled with pained longing and desperation. Often they’re funny with a dark, biting edge I appreciate. The video that follows is a good reflection of what I mean.

I need music recs. Help me by leaving a comment with something I should check out. I’ll even give you meaningless credit if I use it in a future catch!

Movie: Project Wolf Hunting

I was waiting all week to write this one.

A couple of friends who are foolish brave enough to enter the Korean Cinema void with me just watched Project Wolf Hunting because of one stat I heard about the film: Fake blood used on set: 2.5 tons.

If you liked all of the gore and action of Squid Game but didn’t like how much time you had to commit, you’ll love Project Wolf Hunting. Just over two hours, the twists were wild and we could not guess where the movie was headed next. Sure, the plot was about as thin as the characterization, but is that really why you’re watching an action/horror film?

Todoist: A To-Do List App to Organize your Life

Seeing as you may be feeling guilty about your lack of starting/stopping bad/good things in your life, why not give yourself a leg-up with a simple-to-use productivity and habit formation app?

I’ve been using Todoist off and on for the last six years and it’s really a you-get-out-what-you-put-in experience. The free version is a good start but put some skin in the game and buy an annual plan. You’ll get some cool features and be able to organize things with pretty labels.

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See you next week.

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